We knew it would happen but not so soon.
Robin has returned to his place in heaven with all those loved ones who went ahead of him.
His last few days were very sad to see as he struggled to shake off his mortal body and take that last step through the veil. I am relieved to know he isn't hurting any more and that his mind is at peace.
The blessing of all the children in our home as he neared the end was priceless. We had such a bonding experience and found ourselves learning a lot about ourselves and each other.
The children had decided a few days ago that I shouldn't be alone and arranged for a brother and a sister or couple to be here with me through the night. What a comfort to know that I was no longer totally responsible to keep watch over him. They cooked and cleaned up, helped prepare his many medications and took turns sitting by his side while I slept. Oft times we were all gathered around his bedside but many times it was just one sitting with Dad and talking softly or reading the scriptures to him.
The end came in the early morning hours as we were winding down after a long night of visiting and remembering. Some had gone to bed and some had actually started for home. Those few minutes, after he had breathed his last breath, we gathered again to start the procedure of calling the Hospice nurse who would than call the mortuary. By the time all was done and Robin had been taken away it was almost 6 o'clock Sunday morning.
For the past three days we have been getting organized for the services, the obituary, the eulogy, the part everyone will take in the funeral program and decisions about music and prayers. Many of those things I had partly worked through in my mind as the end came near but I really couldn't bring myself to say it out loud or write them down.
Tonight I feel like we are nearly ready to face the day to say our final farewell to our husband, father and grandfather. http://www.premierfuneral.com/ will have an online obituary soon and a place to make comments.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Almost Home
It has been two months since we were given the "word". And it has been 6 weeks since I last wrote on the blog.
So much has happened...in slow motion...that has seen Robin move from walking independently to being bed ridden, from talking freely to garbled speech because of the tumor in the roof of his mouth, from enjoying eating to rejecting all food completely, from reasonable calmness to frantic actions and reactions. No longer do we snuggle in our King-sized family bed but now he lies in a hospital bed in the small bedroom near by.
As I write this I wonder how he would feel about my choice of words and how would he look at what has developed. I think we knew from the start that the end would be hard but we really didn't understand how hard.
Our days are filled with waiting and wondering. If it were not for the love and caring of family and friends we would find it almost impossible to cope. We are blessed with the knowledge of our Heavenly Father's love.
After an especially hard night this week it was decided by the children that they would take turns staying with us through the night. With the presence of our sons and sons-in law we have the blessing of the Priesthood to comfort us. Our daughters have been or will be present and we know our daughters-in-law would be here also except for their responsibilities with their very young children. All the family is working together to make the passing of this time as smooth and peaceful as possible.
We still enjoy the phone calls, email, cards and letters from far off friends and family. Robin has very few lucid moments but enjoys a report from me of new happenings. When I told him that Carissa had been out Wedding Dress shopping he wanted to hear more. He bid Mandy a sweet farewell as she left to return to Maine and her Counselor duties. Most every day finds someone on our doorstep with a serving of something tasty for me and words of love and support. I can never tell you all of the sweet comfort I receive with knowing we are in your prayers and that our names are added to the prayer rolls of many Temples. Thank you so much.
So much has happened...in slow motion...that has seen Robin move from walking independently to being bed ridden, from talking freely to garbled speech because of the tumor in the roof of his mouth, from enjoying eating to rejecting all food completely, from reasonable calmness to frantic actions and reactions. No longer do we snuggle in our King-sized family bed but now he lies in a hospital bed in the small bedroom near by.
As I write this I wonder how he would feel about my choice of words and how would he look at what has developed. I think we knew from the start that the end would be hard but we really didn't understand how hard.
Our days are filled with waiting and wondering. If it were not for the love and caring of family and friends we would find it almost impossible to cope. We are blessed with the knowledge of our Heavenly Father's love.
After an especially hard night this week it was decided by the children that they would take turns staying with us through the night. With the presence of our sons and sons-in law we have the blessing of the Priesthood to comfort us. Our daughters have been or will be present and we know our daughters-in-law would be here also except for their responsibilities with their very young children. All the family is working together to make the passing of this time as smooth and peaceful as possible.
We still enjoy the phone calls, email, cards and letters from far off friends and family. Robin has very few lucid moments but enjoys a report from me of new happenings. When I told him that Carissa had been out Wedding Dress shopping he wanted to hear more. He bid Mandy a sweet farewell as she left to return to Maine and her Counselor duties. Most every day finds someone on our doorstep with a serving of something tasty for me and words of love and support. I can never tell you all of the sweet comfort I receive with knowing we are in your prayers and that our names are added to the prayer rolls of many Temples. Thank you so much.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Family is everything...
It has been three weeks since I last posted and it seems like time is standing still /rushing by.
We had a very special Christmas with the highlight being our "C" Dinner evening on the Night Before The Night Before Christmas. All our children and their spouses were there and we crowded into our tiny living room (with some of the furniture moved out) seated together at a long table...14 of us! We had our traditional meal of "C" foods and visited up a storm.
After dinner we moved out the tables and some of the chairs. Then our children brought in a beautiful leather, mororized lounge chair they had purchased for their Dad. We visited some more and exchanged gifts with lots of laughing and sillyness. Robin seemed to be soaking up the love. It was suggested that we talk a bit about their Dad and their love for him and ask him questions and tell him things they felt they needed to say. It was a very precious hour with tender moments and testimonies shared. We expressed our decision to forgo any medical therapy or treatments and spend the remaining time Robin will have as quality time. (The doctors explained that treatment could possibly extend the time but would surely be very painful and uncomfortable.)
As the evening came to a close there were hugs all around and expressions of love, one to another. The kitchen was cleaned and furniture restored. Robin and I sat alone and simmered in the lovely feeling.
Christmas Eve was very quiet and solitary as we knew our families were snuggled in their homes with their children around them. Christmas Morning we prepared to travel to Bountiful where we would all be together again plus all the grandchildren. It was a fun but very tiring time and we were glad to return to our cozy home in Orem.
In the last two weeks we have had many visits from family and old friends... and our new Hospice friends. We feel well cared for and loved. We have not second guessed or questioned our decisions... even tho some have felt we need to get a second opinion, or turn to herbal remedies, or find someone "special" to give a "miracle" blessing. All these suggestions have poured off us like water and only strengthened our resolve to stay the course. We have grown closer as a couple and sometimes feel like we are on a "second honeymoon."
We are not sure just how much time we have to be together but we are trying to make the most of every day. It is hard and will get harder but we want everyone to know we have great comfort in the Plan of Salvation and The Atonement. Our children are very attentive and keep us company when we need it. Family is everything.
We had a very special Christmas with the highlight being our "C" Dinner evening on the Night Before The Night Before Christmas. All our children and their spouses were there and we crowded into our tiny living room (with some of the furniture moved out) seated together at a long table...14 of us! We had our traditional meal of "C" foods and visited up a storm.
After dinner we moved out the tables and some of the chairs. Then our children brought in a beautiful leather, mororized lounge chair they had purchased for their Dad. We visited some more and exchanged gifts with lots of laughing and sillyness. Robin seemed to be soaking up the love. It was suggested that we talk a bit about their Dad and their love for him and ask him questions and tell him things they felt they needed to say. It was a very precious hour with tender moments and testimonies shared. We expressed our decision to forgo any medical therapy or treatments and spend the remaining time Robin will have as quality time. (The doctors explained that treatment could possibly extend the time but would surely be very painful and uncomfortable.)
As the evening came to a close there were hugs all around and expressions of love, one to another. The kitchen was cleaned and furniture restored. Robin and I sat alone and simmered in the lovely feeling.
Christmas Eve was very quiet and solitary as we knew our families were snuggled in their homes with their children around them. Christmas Morning we prepared to travel to Bountiful where we would all be together again plus all the grandchildren. It was a fun but very tiring time and we were glad to return to our cozy home in Orem.
In the last two weeks we have had many visits from family and old friends... and our new Hospice friends. We feel well cared for and loved. We have not second guessed or questioned our decisions... even tho some have felt we need to get a second opinion, or turn to herbal remedies, or find someone "special" to give a "miracle" blessing. All these suggestions have poured off us like water and only strengthened our resolve to stay the course. We have grown closer as a couple and sometimes feel like we are on a "second honeymoon."
We are not sure just how much time we have to be together but we are trying to make the most of every day. It is hard and will get harder but we want everyone to know we have great comfort in the Plan of Salvation and The Atonement. Our children are very attentive and keep us company when we need it. Family is everything.
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